


Special Agent Weasley | A Scorbus Fanfic

by ablondeweasley



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-08-10 21:19:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7861525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ablondeweasley/pseuds/ablondeweasley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose is one of those people who knows everything about everyone. That rumor about Alisa Prewitt sleeping with half the Slytherins? You know, the one that was confirmed when she got flowers from all of them on Valentine's Day? Rose knew about that in December. Alfie Davies enchanting all of Madam Hooch's extra brooms so that everyone who would used them would be thrown off, but got in trouble before anyone could get hurt because of an anonymous tip to Madam Hooch? <em>Puh-lease.</em>The anonymous tip was from Rose. But Rose didn't thinks she would have to use her stalking-no, Rose didn't like that word-<em>observing</em> skills on her friends. She thought Albus and Scorpius would have told her they were dating! Okay, so maybe she wasn’t entirely sure they were together, but she had a lot of proof, and she frequently teased Al and Scorp with it. So when Rose's two best friends get sick of her constant pestering, they decide to fake a relationship. Only something interesting happens...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nosy Parker

**Author's Note:**

> I just love fake/pretend relationship fics! I don't know why, it's like this odd obsession of mine. I just couldn't help myself with this one, so...here it is ;).

Rose's P.O.V.

Rose Granger-Weasley took a few careful steps to the left, the picture of nonchalance. She even “accidentally” dropped her large pile of books and bent exceedingly slowly to begin picking them up, which would take at least five minutes, if she was good. And Rose was good. She prided herself on knowing everything about everyone, and it takes skill to be that type of person.  
She didn’t think she would have to spy-no, Rose didn’t like that word-observe her own friends to learn what was going on, though. She had thought Albus and Scorp would have told her they were dating!  
Okay, so maybe she wasn’t entirely sure they were together, but she had a lot of proof. And she was here gathering some more.  
Rose turned her head at an angle so her bushy hair just covered the right side of her face, but she could still see.  
Albus and Scorpius were at her 6:00. And something interesting was going on…  
Scorpius and Al were walking down the hall suspiciously slowly. And they were so close their shoulders were touching! Rose could just make out what they were saying:  
“Are you heading to Quidditch? Slytherin are playing Hufflepuff-it’s a big one-” Scorpius looked down at Al.  
“I thought we hated Quidditch?” Al gave the other boy a half-grin and Scorpius looked away slightly. Rose swore he was blushing.  
“People can change.” Scorpius said defensively. “Besides, I’ve been practicing. I think I might make the team eventually. Come on.”  
“I can’t. My dad’s arranged to come up-” Al rolled his eyes to high heaven and beyond.  
“He’s taking time away from the Ministry?”  
“He wants to go on a walk-something to show me-share with me-talk to me about something.” Her cousin seemed slightly flustered all of a sudden. Ooh, that was interesting. Maybe Harry Potter, the Oblivious One, had finally caught on? Was he going to give his son the “Gay” talk?  
“A walk?” Scorpius was obviously jealous now.  
“I know, I think it’s a bonding thing or something similarly bloody awful. Still, I think I’ll go. It’s important, I guess.” Albus looked small, then. Fragile. Albus wasn’t usually vulnerable.  
The blonde suddenly reached over and pulled Albus into a tight hug. And there it was. See! Proof! Rose knew something was going on between them. Al even closed his eyes! And they were whispering sweet nothings into each others' ears! (Well, sweet nothings Rose couldn’t hear.)  
They hugged for about five whole seconds! Then the two boys disentangled from each other, grinning. Bloody hell, they were so dating.  
“I’ll see you at dinner.” Al gave Scorpius a sweet little wave.  
Rose was right. She knew she was. This was the last straw. They were definitely dati-  
“Ouch!”  
“Bloody hell, Rose! Watch it!” Al rubbed his nose, which was now slightly red.  
Merlin. The sodding prat had run right into her!  
“Merlin, Al, I was just picking up my books!”  
“Yeah, for like ten minutes! What were you doing anyway?” Al squinted angrily at her  
“Picking up my books!” Uh-oh. Please don’t push it, Al. I don’t have another excuse, Rose thought.  
“You were bloody spying again! I know it!” Bloody hell, Al was more perceptive than his dad! Then again, it was easy to be more observant than Harry Potter. Again, the Oblivious One was practically famous for, well, being oblivious. “Just sod off, you nosy parker.”  
Al rolled his eyes and blundered off in the opposite direction.  
Well, a displeased cousin was certainly a price Rose was willing to pay for more proof!

Albus' P.O.V.

Suddenly, Albus was enveloped in a sporadic hug. Merlin, this again? Al couldn’t do this. Especially not when Scorp smelled so good, and had such soft hair...He really couldn’t.  
“What’s this?” Did his voice sound too husky? It did. Whoa, not because Al was turned on, or anything, just-Al cleared his throat. “I thought we didn’t hug?”  
“I wasn’t sure. Whether we should. In this new version I of us-in had in my head.” Merlin, “new version of us?” Al really couldn’t think about that...I mean, what did new version even mean? Were they still friends? Were they...something more? Bloody hell, I sound like a cheesy romance novel. And I really need to stop thinking about that, Al’s imagination was running a little...wild. And they were still hugging.  
“Better ask Rose if it’s the right thing to do.” Al needed to remind himself that Scorp liked Rose. Scorp likes Rose, Al. Not you. Your bloody cousin!  
Al’s limbs had turned to jelly in Scorpius’ arms. Watery jelly, the kind that’s bloody nasty. Because Al was nasty. Al was wrong. Liking your best mate was wrong.  
Scorpius finally pulled away, leaving Al feeling slightly blue in the face. He might’ve even forgotten his own name…  
“Ha! Yeah right!” Wait, did Scorp-No. Don’t even go there, Al, you bloody prat. You’ll just drive yourself crazy.  
Crazier.  
He needed to remove himself from this situation.  
“See you at dinner.” Al couldn’t help that stupid wave, okay. His limbs were still jelly-  
Oof! Suddenly Al’s mouth was full of frizzy hair. And it smelled...sort of like bread.  
“Bloody hell, Rose! Watch it!” His nose really fucking hurt now. Blink away the tears, blink away the tears, Al thought desperately.  
“Merlin, Al, I was just picking up my books!” Umm, yeah, right, Rose. Merlin, she was annoying. And his nose really bloody hurt!  
“Yeah, for like ten minutes! What were you doing anyway?” Al squinted angrily at her.  
“Picking up my books!” Ha, right. Bloody liar. She was stalking me again!  
“You were bloody spying again! I know it!” Rose looked guilty. She totally did. Whatever.“Just sod off, you nosy parker.”  
Al rolled his eyes and went off in the opposite direction. He had to meet his dad.


	2. Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose is studying in the library, and finds none other than Scorpius himself! She confronts him about his feelings (maybe she'll make progress without Al here!), but it doesn't exactly....well, you'll see.

Rose's P.O.V.

Merlin, that was close. Rose needed to be more careful the next time she caught Scorp and Al in action.  
Because there definitely was going to be a next time! The more proof, the better!  
She sighed onto her Potions essay, making the paper blow a few inches away from her. And, fuuuuuuuck, off the table. (Rose was feeling exasperatingly lazy this afternoon.)  
The occupants of the four other large-ish, square, wooden tables in the library, (all clustered around the fireplace, because the library was really fucking freezing always), all shushed her.   
Bloody Ravenclaws-  
Whoa. One of them wasn’t a Ravenclaw.   
Well, not exactly. Wannabe-Ravenclaw Scorpius Malfoy sat among their ranks, his blond head tipped down and his books spread around him like a small fortress.  
Hmmmmmm….was Lover Boy avoiding Al?   
Suddenly Rose didn’t feel so lazy anymore.  
“Hey, Scorp. Studying hard, I see.” Rose flounced over with her most innocent smile. The one that always worked on her dad and Uncle Harry.   
“Oh, piss off, Bread-Head.”  
Rose faked a pout. “Trouble in paradise?”  
“What paradise?” Scorp gave an annoyed, sarcastic grumble that borderlined on a...sob? Oh, no. Something realy was up.  
“You know, the one you and my brother live in with your rainbows and glitter and wuv?” Rose said this more gently, but knew she couldn’t completely drop the annoying sister charade otherwise Scorp would know she was on to him. And better he hate her than Albus.  
“Again, piss off. I’m trying to study.”  
“Shhhhhh!”   
Fucking Ravenclaws.  
Rose was done.  
“Scorp, we need to talk.” Grabbing his thin wrist and knocking his wall of books down, (the ink that spilled on his homework was not her fault, okay?), Rose dragged him out of the library and behind a suit of armor.  
“What the fuck?”  
“Yes, yes, just stop, Scorpius. You don’t need to pretend anymore.”  
“Pretend what?” Rose could see what Al saw in him. He did look kinda cute when he was angry: all flushed and messy.   
Wait, nope. She couldn’t.  
“That you’re not in love with my brother.”  
Scorp sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “Rose, we’ve been over this. Albus. And. I. Are. Not. Dating.”  
“Okay, so maybe you’re not dating. Maybe you just love each other and can’t express your feelings.”  
At this, Scorpius blanched. “What makes you think that?”  
“Merlin, Scorp. He is so in to you!”  
“You really think so?” Scorpius’ eyes were only slightly worried. “This isn’t just more of that shit you pulled with Louvre and Jackson?” Merlin, would people stop bringing that up? She had totally thought Louvre, the half Veela, had liked Jackson, but...mistakes can happen, alright?  
“It’s not, I swear!”  
“Well then, this is awkward.”  
Yeeeeesssss! He was going to confess his love!  
Well, Rose hoped. He was the same red color as the Gryffindor banner, and he had a little sheepish grin.  
“I guess I support Al, if he is actually gay, but him liking me? I don’t know what to do?”  
“Wait, why? Just ask him out!”  
“What? No, Rose. I’m not gay!”  
Oh, bloody hell.  
She was done.  
“Wait, Rose! What do I do?”  
Scorpius called after her. But Rose was deaf to him, now. All she could hear were her footsteps on the stone and all she could see was red.

Scorpius' P.O.V.

Rose’s grip on Scorpius’ wrist was hard. Merlin, she was like a bloody Grindylow! And she had spilled ink all over his Potions homework!  
“What the fuck?”  
A clank, clatter, muffled yelp, and they were behind a suit of armor. Rose’s hair was sticking up all over the place, she had ink covering her hands, and her eyes were shining like a madman. Basically, she looked how she always did when she got excited. Which was not good. Because when Rose was excited, bad things happened.   
“Yes, yes, just stop.” Rose waved her hands like she was putting an end to flattery. Like, oh, I appreciate it, but no need.   
Because “What the fuck?” was definitely flattery.  
“You don’t need to pretend anymore.” Oh dear Merlin. What was she on about this time? Oh, Scorp hoped this wasn’t more of “I know you and Al are dating.”   
“Pretend what?” Scorp let his suspicion show through.   
“That you’re not in love with my brother.” Oh, fuck, it was that again.  
Scorp sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “Rose, we’ve been over this. Albus. And. I. Are. Not. Dating.”  
“Okay, so maybe you’re not dating. Maybe you just love each other and can’t express your feelings.”  
At this, Scorpius blanched. “What makes you think that?” Maybe there was some proof that Scorpius just wasn’t seeing? I dunno, maybe Rose had an excellent Gaydar? Because it would be super awkward if Al liked him…  
Oh, Merlin.  
“Merlin, Scorp. He is so into you!”  
“You really think so?” Scorpius’ eyes were only slightly worried. Rose was probably just being Rose. “This isn’t just more of that shit you pulled with Louvre and Jackson?” She had set those two Slytherins up a while ago, and let’s just say-hmmm. Picture a disaster. Worst-case scenario ever.   
Then multiply that by a gazilllion.  
Yeah. It was probably worse than that.  
“It’s not, I swear!”  
“Well then, this is awkward.” Merlin, it was fine if Al was gay, but….liking him? Bloody hell, they slept in the same bed sometimes.  
That sounded wrong.  
“I guess I support Al, if he is actually gay, but him liking me? I don’t know what to do?”  
“Wait, why? Just ask him out!” Rose was jumping around now. Oh Merlin, she thought Scorp was a poofer too!   
I mean, sure, he did sometimes notice the way Al’s hair fell over his forehead, or his nice abs, or his smile, (perfect, save for that slightly crooked front tooth!)-  
He wasn’t gay, though! “What? No, Rose. I’m not gay!”  
But Rose didn’t listen.   
She never did.


End file.
